With the multitasking chaos and expense of the holidays, it can be especially frustrating when an opportunity appears, a limited time opportunity. It would require not just shorting my family’s holiday a bit, but also increasing my debt compared to my income, when money is already very tight. Oh, it’s the kind of expense that might pay off in a year or so (more than lottery tickets, for sure) but it’s no guarantee. So I want to do it, but I would have to borrow the money without being able to repay it in the forseeable future, and that just makes me nervous and unhappy about it. I know intellectually that this isn’t the end of the world either way, but it’s so precisely balanced between good opportunity and increased debt for all involved that I can’t help but resent the timing. The amount may not seem like much to most people but it is for me and I say no almost by reflex for numbers that big. As much as I want to write, this is far, far more than my income warrants.
I don’t want to be one of those writers who blows money they can’t afford on pie in the sky. Vanity press and small press meltdowns have been very instructional, with how even careful writers cab get in over their heads when there’s marketing and their hard-earned money involved. This could be helpful, but will it be that ten times more helpful than a good writing book? Or as helpful as ten books’ cumulative help? Writing always comes down to putting pen to paper and the vast majority of great stories were done before writing software, before marketing plans, before online group editing muddied the waters with conflicting advice. Tick, tick, tick… time is running out.
And it smells like that batch of chocolate chip is just about baked.